childhood

I used to be really cheerful, optimistic and positive last time! I really do, to the point that I was dubbed as naive and innocent. And I have changed, to a point where I’m afraid I am no longer who I was. I know people change, but I’m still wondering whether it is a good thing. At least I feeeeel better last time, more often happy than not. Doesn’t seems like it nowadays.

I wanna feel good and right, wanna be happy and positive. I don’t want this silly low self-esteem to drag me down and down again. I want to be really kind, and nice and caring enough again.

I used to smile and say hello, now I just stare blankly, cast my eyes down and keep silent.
I wanna be my old self, and yet still be street smart enough.
I don’t wanna be mean to anyone anymore, nor understand those unnecessary things.
I don’t want to feel anymore of these inferior feelings, nor any of these better than you feelings.
I just want to be carefree again, in a world that I feel no need to compete, no need to feel I am so behind people.
No need to strive so hard to try to motivate myself, no need to feel I have to work hard, but work hard because I like it, because I want to, because I enjoy the things I do.
Just to purely enjoy what I learn and what I do.

I want again to smile for no reason, to be happy for no reason
but just to be really happy and cheerful no matter what kind of day it is.
To smile at the sunshine and roll around the grasses.
To run around the padang pulling on kite strings.
To be kiddy kiddy and be my daddy’s little girl.
To hug my mum and cuddle and sleep on her lap.
To play “masak-masak” with my sisters.
and to smile like a child again.

Ah, it have been so long since I felt this childhood happiness. Really miss those times.

Something I believe we should bring it into our lives every now and then, to remind ourselves that happiness is all that matters.

Can you recall your childhood happiness?
Share with me

Advertisement